Silly Rabbit Bunnies Don't Eat Cabbage!
by shadow101202
Summary: Shinobu is sick and asks for a story from Miyagi, when Miyagi reads a certain classic tale, the influenced young man has strange dreams.


Please forgive my poor title, I struggled with it, but this is what I came up with.

This story has been a long time coming.

Sorry this was a day late :( I don't know about every one else, but I've been having log-in problems...

For **disclaimer** see my profile: **shadow101202**

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><p>A <strong>Key<strong> to the **Cast** so you know which characters I put in:

**Cast**:

Brothers – Ryūichirō Isaka, Akihiko, and Takahiro.

Peter - Shinobu

"Mother"- Kaoru Asahina

Mr. McGregor- Hiro-san

Sparrow - Usagi-chichi

"Mrs. McGregor"- Nowaki

Cat - Aikawa

Mouse- Sumi

The orginal story is about 1,000 words, I typed that up and manipulated it to create this story.

My version of animals only includes the appropriate ears and tails, or wings and feathers as the case may be.

Just a warning, I personally don't think of this story as my best writing, it could certainly use some improvement, storywise, but perhaps that is because I haven't brushed up on the Junjou Romantica pairings in a while? Maybe... Who knows?(And don't say you do because this is a rhetorical question.)

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><p>"ACHOO!" Shinobu sneezed so hard, he nearly fell over.<p>

"Shinobu... Do you have a cold?" Miyagi took his fake cigarette out of his mouth just long enough to ask the question.

"No! Of course not! I AM NOT SI- ACHOO!" Another large sneeze broke his sentence of defiance toward the illness that was doomingly waiting for a chance to pounce. He continued to sneeze throughout the day, while he washed dishes, while he cooked a semi-edible lunch, even while he mopped the floor. After lunch, he was becoming more and more irritable, even yelling at Miyagi to shut up at one point. Miyagi stopped talking to him after that. As Shinobu finished putting the dry dishes away, he walked somewhat groggily in front of Miyagi, who was sitting on the couch. Miyagi saw the strange way the boy was walking and questioned him,

"Shinobu? Are you feeling alright?" But as he finished his sentence, Shinobu wobbled and began to fall. Miyagi shouted, tossing his newspaper aside to catch his falling lover.

When Shinobu awoke, he sat up slowly. The damp cloth on his forehead slid down onto his lap. He rubbed his eyes, and removed his hands to see Miyagi entering the room with a steaming bowl of soup.

"What happened?" Shinobu murmured while he picked up the cloth that had fallen.

"You collapsed in the living room. You've got a high fever," Miyagi responded while placing the tray down on Shinobu's lap. Shinobu stared at the soup in disgust.

"I'm not hungry," he said. Miyagi frowned at him.

"You hardly ate anything at lunch, you need something to eat... And anyway, you have to take the fever reducer with a meal," Miyagi said firmly. Shinobu sighed, but gave in, he wasn't sure he would like whatever weird soup that Miyagi had served up, but he'd give it a try. After blowing on the soup to cool it down, he carefully took a sip fromthe spoon... It actually tasted good! _Miyagi can cook better than I can. _

"Is something wrong, Shinobu?" he asked to the boy's frowning face. Shinobu merely shook his head and slowly began to eat the rest of the soup. When he had finished, he took the pills Miyagi brought him. Miyagi read the label to himself while Shinobu lay back down against the pillows. "It says here the pills may cause drowsiness," Miyagi said to himself. _No duh, _Shinobu thought. He glared at Miyagi as the man left the room. _Hmph. He should at least wait 'til I'm asleep._ But Miyagi came back into the room with a small smile on his face as he lovingly gazed upon a small book he held in his hands.

"What is that?" Shinobu asked the older man. Miyagi looked up at him as he sat in the chair next to the bed.

"When I used to get sick, my mother would read to me. I thought about reading a book from my favorite author to you, but those are too long. So I'll read you Peter Rabbit," Miyagi showed the title of the book to Shinobu. The boy showed his disgust with a furrowed brow and a deep frown.

"But isn't Peter Rabbit a children's book? Who do you think I am, a primary school kid?" Miyagi smirked and planned his response,

"No… I think you're a University brat," Shinobu glared at him for that, but lay back in the bed and closed his eyes. He hears the book's spine crack as Miyagi opened the book and began to read,

"Once upon a time…" Shinobu couldn't keep himself conscious, and slowly slipped into slumber…

Once upon a time there were four little Rabbits, their names were - Akihiko, Takahiro, Isaka, and Shinobu. They lived with their "Mother", Asahina, in a sandbank, underneath the root of a very big fir tree.

"Now my dears," said old Mrs. Rabbit one morning "you may go into the fields or down the lane, but don't go into Mr. McGregor's garden. Your father had an accident there - he was put in a pie by Mrs. McGregor. Now run along and don't get into mischief. I am going out. Won't you come along Isaka?"

"Fine I'll come, but you better buy me something good later," the ill-mannered Isaka said.

Then old Mrs. Rabbit took a basket and his umbrella, and went through the wood to be alone with Asahina... He later bought a loaf of brown bread and five currant buns.

Akihiko, Takahiro, and Cotton-tail, who were good little bunnies, went down the lane to gather blackberries. But Shinobu, who was very naughty,

"What the hell? I'm not bad! What's up with a random narrator?" _But haven't I heard this story before somewhere? Oh well... I'm hungry, and bunnies eat greens, right? ...Maybe I can find some good cabbage in the garden..._

How dare he interrupt my beautiful narration! Anyway, on with the story, but Shinobu, who was very naughty, ran straight away to Mr. McGregor's garden and squeezed under the gate!

First he ate some lettuce and some French beans, and then he ate some radishes. And then, feeling rather sick, he went to look some parsley. _Yuck, eating all this is making me full, I still haven't found the cabbage yet... Wasn't parsley supposed to be for upset stomachs? Good suggestion Mr. Narrator._

But round the end of a cucumber frame, whom should he meet but Mr. McGregor! _Oh shit! It's the gardener!_ Mr. McGregor was on his hands and knees planting out young cabbages, _Mmm cabbage..._ but he jumped up and ran after Peter, waving a rake and calling out, "Oi, you little brat! Stop, thief!"

Shinobu was most dreadfully frightened. _Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap! It's that homo guy who is always all over Miyagi and he's 100 feet tall!_ He rushed all over the garden, for he had forgotten the way back to the gate. _Well gee, isn't that __**convenient**__? Stupid Narrator!_

He lost one of his shoes among the cabbages, and the other shoe amongst the potatoes. _Gah! Oh well, I can run better barefoot anyway._ After losing them he ran on and went faster, so much so that he might have got away altogether if… he had not unfortunately run into a gooseberry net, and got caught by the large buttons on his jacket. _No! I'm gonna be mincemeat since I look like a rabbit, he won't know I'm actually a human!_ It was a blue jacket with brass buttons, quite new. _Who fuckin' cares?_

Shinobu gave himself up for lost, and shed big tears. _Damn it. Sniff. Why does this have to happen to me?_ But his sobs were overhead by a friendly sparrow, who flew to him in great excitement, and implored him to exert himself.

"Come on now, even if a rubber ducky is malfunctioning in the bath, it still manages to float upside down. You can do it, like the bear in the salmon run, all it takes is a little patience and effort,"

"I'll show you who's malfunctioning, come back here you weird sparrow!" But the sparrow had flown away.

Mr. McGregor came up with a sieve, which he intended to pop upon the top of Shinobu. But Shinobu wriggled out just in time, leaving his jacket behind, and rushed into the tool shed, and jumped into a can. It would have been a beautiful thing to hide in, if it had not so much water in it. _Why am I naked? The water is so c-c-cold... Brrr... If I don't get out of here soon..._

Mr. McGregor was quite sure that Peter was somewhere in the tool shed, perhaps hidden underneath a flowerpot. He began to turn them over carefully, looking under each.

"Now where did that damn brat go? I know he's here somewhere," Mr. McGregor mumbled to himself.

Presently Shinobu sneezed- "Kertyshoo!" _Does anyone sneeze like that?_ Mr. McGregor was after him in no time, and tried to put his foot upon Shinobu _Yikes! This guy is violent_, who jumped out of a window, upsetting three plants. The window was too small for Mr. McGregor, and he was tired of running after Shinobu. He went back to his work. Shinobu sat down to rest. _Heheh, pant, pant, sucker I beat you._ He was out of breath and trembling with fright, and he had not the least idea which way to go. _Damn... I still don't know where I am._ Also he was very damp with sitting in that can. _Augh! Why am I still wet, it's just too cold!_

After a time he began to wander about, going lippity - lippity - not very fast, and looking all around. _What the heck is 'lippity'?_

He found a door in a wall, but it was locked, and there was no room for a fat little rabbit to squeeze underneath. _I AM NOT FAT! You Bastard!_

An old mouse was running in and out over the stone doorstep, carrying peas and beans to his family in the wood. Shinobu asked him the way to the gate,

"Hey, do you know where the exit is?" but he ignored the little rabbit. "Hey! I'm talking to you," a very evil aura suddenly appeared behind the mouse as he stood up and said,

"Fool! There is no way out," laughing unpleasantly he walked away shaking his head at him. Shinobu began to cry. _Sniff, why do these things happen to me? Where's that bastard Miyagi when I need him?_

Then Shinobu tried to find his way straight across the garden, but he became more puzzled. Presently, he came to a pond where Mr. McGregor filled his water cans. A white cat was staring at some goldfish. She sat very, very still, but now and then the tip of her tail twitched as if it were alive. Shinobu thought it best not to speak with her and was walking away when…

"KYAAAH!" Shinobu was now getting a closer view of ants than he ever wanted again.

"Stupid cat! Get off of me!" Shinobu shouted at the cat who had now began to groom him with her tongue. At this she only stopped for a moment to say,

"Oh you're so cute! A naked bunny rabbit all for me!" _Wha- oh crap! I forgot I'm naked! _Shinobu's face turned a deep shade of red. At that moment the cuteness of Shinobu overwhelmed the excited fan-cat, and she collapsed to the side of him with a bloody nose. Shinobu got up and dusted himself off, slowly creeping away from the still twitching body of the cat. He had heard about cats from his cousin, little Benjamin Bunny. _I did? Well whatever it was, it was probably bad advice anyway._

He went back towards the tool shed, but suddenly quite close to him, he heard the noise of a hoe – Oh, oh OH! Shinobu scuttered underneath the bushes. But presently, as nothing happened, he came out, and climbed upon a wheelbarrow, and peeped over. The first thing he saw was Mr. McGregor being plowed by "Mrs." McGregor! _Oh what the? I didn't know he could get laid… Wow… Well, I better use this chance to escape this crazy garden._

"Oh Hiro-san," "Mrs." McGregor murmured as they continued.

The couple was so into it they didn't notice him, and beyond them was the gate!

Shinobu got down very quietly off the wheelbarrow, and started running as fast as he could go, along a straight walk behind some black currant bushes.

Mr. McGregor caught sight of him at the corner, but Shinobu did not care. He slipped underneath the gate and was safe at last in the wood outside the garden. _Whew! Home free… Now I just need to get back to that weird tree._ Mr. McGregor hung up the little jacket and the shoes for a scarecrow to frighten the blackbirds. Shinobu never stopped running or looked behind him till he got home to the big fir tree.

He was so tired that he flopped down upon the nice soft sand on the floor of the rabbit-hole, and shut his eyes. _Man! I'm never doing this again._ His mother was busy cooking. He wondered what Shinobu had done with his clothes. It was the second little jacket and pair of shoes that Shinobu had lost in a fortnight! _Am I turning into a pervert or something?_

I am sorry to say that Shinobu was not very well that evening. _Well, yeah, I ran all that way! ...A-… ACHOO!_

His mother put him to bed, and made some camomile tea. And he gave a dose of it to Shinobu!

"One tablespoon to be taken at bedtime."

But Akihiko, Takahiro, and Isaka had bread and milk and blackberries for supper.

Shinobu woke with a start. Miyagi was just coming into the room with some coffee.

"What the… Where were you?" Shinobu questioned the literature professor suspiciously. Miyagi looked confused, but responded,

"I read the story to you, but you fell asleep, so I waited in here with a book or two, and just now went to get something to drink," Shinobu just rubbed his eyes,

"I had a really weird dream just now… I was trapped in this garden, and I lost all my clothes…" Miyagi smirked at him,

"What? I don't see any bunny ears; surely you aren't saying you're Peter Rabbit?" Shinobu glared at his light and teasing tone. The man set down his coffee on the nightstand and leaned in close towards Shinobu. This move caught Shinobu off-guard, so he tried to pull away, but Miyagi brought their foreheads together… and waited. Shinobu murmured something, then reached up and kissed his older lover. Miyagi pulled back,

"Your fever broke quickly which is good, but if I get sick after this, you have to teach my classes," Shinobu made some kind of pouting sound, rolled over, and went back to sleep. He just hoped he wouldn't have any more of those weird dreams… Miyagi reached over and kissed the sleeping boys head and left the room as to not make too much noise. Picking up the book he had set on the kitchen table he smiled,

"Peter Rabbit, huh?"

The End

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><p>I plan to do a sequel using the sequel to The Tale of Peter Rabbit using The Tale of Benjamin Bunny... and possibly one based on The Tail of the Flopsy Bunnies... If I can find it *Sweat Drops*<p>

Thanks for Reading!  
>Love it? Hate it? Want to make a request? Please leave a review to let me know. (Anonymous Reviews Welcome).<p> 


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